


Wow, You Can Really Dance - When You're Wasted.

by kuehmist



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Dancing, Drink Spiking, Drinking, Pre-War (mentioned), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuehmist/pseuds/kuehmist
Summary: Seeing Optimus Prime drunk was one of the top things on Miko’s bucket list.The combination of a super successful mission, Wheeljack’s Super Secret High Grade Stash, and a bit of pure luck was all she needed.





	Wow, You Can Really Dance - When You're Wasted.

Commandeering an energon mine, even a small one, without blowing up the precious crystals within was considered a huge success. With this successful takeover, the Decepticons would retreat and lick their wounds. It was the perfect opportunity for Wheeljack to reveal his hidden stash of high-grade that he had been stockpiling since before the Exodus.  
“Soldier, do I need to remind you that intoxicating substances are strictly prohibited for active-duty?” Ultra Magnus hadn’t even let him set the crate down.  
“Sir, at this point we’re all on active duty or offline. Besides, Prime gave us the okay.”  
“They deserve time to unwind, Commander. Why don’t you join them? It would serve you well.”  
“No thank you, sir. With your permission, I’d like to spend the evening away from that.”  
Optimus simply smiled at him. “Very well.”  
“Thank you sir.”  
With that, the semi transformed and sped out of the base. Any sane person would have left as well.  
“Bumblebee, that high grade will be strong. I advise you to take it slow.”  
“::I know, doc, I know.::”  
“C’mon, sunshine, let him live a little!”  
“Hmph.”  
Without another word, Ratchet snatched up one of the cubes and sulked behind his computer.  
“Boss, you want one?”  
Optimus glanced around his team, each holding a cube as if it were something sacred.   
“Certainly, Wheeljack.”  
Miko watched them all with wild excitement in her eyes. They darted around the room, catching the glow already appearing in Bumblebee’s optics, the way Arcee took tiny sips to conserve her drink. They certainly did not miss the mischievous stare from the medic beside her, and they certainly did not miss the tiny wink he gave her.  
…  
“The last time Optimus had a drink, everyone had a wonderful time. Of course, with his new upgrade, it’ll be harder to get him to that level of inebriated, but I have an idea.”  
Ratchet, down for a prank? Miko was over the moon.  
“Go to the medbay and get in the furthest drawer. There should be a set of vials about as big as your torso. Bring one out here, and make sure your phone is charged.”  
A task? In the medbay? For her? Maybe Wheeljack’s stash wasn’t the only exciting thing happening tonight.  
Miko fetched the required vial and snuck it back up the stairs. With a heavy sigh, she set it down just in Ratchet’s reach. Without so much as a athank you, the medic swooped the vial up in his hand and poured its contents into Optimus’ cube without the mech noticing.  
“It’s the equivalent of your laughing gas, but when mixed with high-grade, makes the affected into very compliant, very easy to handle patients. All we need do is wait for Optimus to take a few drinks an he’ll do anything we ask with no hesitation.”  
“Sweet.” Miko texted back.   
…  
Miko didn’t know what she had expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.  
With two clicks on Ratchet’s computer and a prompting from the medic, Optimus Prime was in the center of the room doing a dance she would have expected from a K-POP group. The song he was dancing to? Totally did not match up with what he was doing.  
“Are you filming this?” Ratchet whispered.  
“Of course I am. I’m not an idiot, you know.”  
“Good. When he’s finished, send it to the other two, but never let him see it.”  
“Aye aye, Captain. Aye aye.”  
…  
Ultra Magnus wished he could just turn around and drive off a cliff. His commander lay passed out in the floor, the soldiers in disarray around him. Only the medic and the human native were still conscious, speaking in hushed tones as to not wake the sleeping giants.  
“Would one of you care to explain what exactly happened here?”  
“We’ll send you the video later. If I were you, commander, I’d hightail it. No one want’s to be here when they wake up.”  
With a nod, the mech snuck past his teammates and out into the cold night air. Once his engine had faded, Ratchet and Miko burst out in hushed laughter.  
“We should team up more often.”  
“We should. Same time next week?”  
“You’re on.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, sorry this is so bad, I literally wrote it in fifteen minutes when I was supposed to be studying. Send help for my grades.


End file.
